Doug or Dystopia? A garden gone rogue

The apocalyptic charm of my winter garden

Every time I step into Doug the Crub, I feel like I’m walking onto the set of some post-apocalyptic indie movie. The nasturtiums have taken over, the kale appears to be auditioning for a part in The Day of the Triffids and random relics like my attempt at making comfry liquid fertiliser languish in the corner.

It’s a mess.

Rather than make vague promises to you, or myself, about what I’m going to do next or what I’m hoping to achieve this week, month or year, I’m going take you on a visual tour.

Photos 1 & 2: Nasturtiums are winning

This is my work corner. It’s supposed to be a space where I can sow seeds, pot on and set up the laptop and write. I optimistically call it my creative corner but the naturtiums have claimed it as their own. The thing is, they’re green, they’re flowering, they’re edible and they’re doing better than me at life right now.

Photo 3: Christmas tree and canes

Sadly not candy canes. The middle bed is taken up with our Christmas tree and random things I want to save for this years growing efforts. The canes have all been pulled out of the beds, but the string connecting them all is another matter. I need a warmish day, a pot of tea and good podcast series to get them in order.

Photo 4: Kale Triffids

Then there’s the kale. Five plants towering up on long stalks. Barely a day goes past where I don’t grab a few leaves, hence the long stalks, but they keep giving. They will have to go at some point so I can start on next years crop but I’ll be sad to see them go.

Photo 5: The Lumi Pod

My Lumi cold water dipping pod has now moved into Doug. Last year he spent his days by one of the outhouses until moving up to sit outside Doug, but then the weather became too balmy and it seemed pointless to dip in warm water. Anything over 15 degrees is too warm. Now he lives in my wannabe herb garden and tool store, read dumping ground. It’s great to have him set up within the protection of Doug as I know he’s not going to be blown across the garden and ripped to shreds. Have I dipped yet? I started again last week and managed 3 SS, the longest was yesterday - two minutes at 5

Photo 6: The ‘potato bed’

This is where I put the potatoes last year…is it any wonder they didn’t get very far? The plan was to cover it over for winter and then remove the covering in spring and hope that last years forgotten potatoes become this years bumper crop. The new plan is to strim it, burn the hedge cuttings on it, dump a load of fallen leaves on it and cover it over for 3 months. There is still time if I get a handle on IF the wind goes away.

Photos 7 & 8: The hedge situations

The barn hedge now out of control high because I didn’t quite get round to tackling it last year, but now we have a natty petrol powered multi-tool with a long arm so I can get to those hard to reach places, like anything above 5ft6! I made a start to this hedge the weekend before last, but wow is the tool heavy and my arms weak - I could only manage about 10 minutes before I had to give up for the day!

Then there’s the Rosa Ragusa, a thorny beast that runs the full length of the garden between what I call, the garden, the patch in front of the house, and the field next door. During our first winter I went quite hard in a few patches and unsurprisingly to most, it came back no problems, so last year I decided to … leave it. Ok, decide is the wrong word, but I wasn’t doing it by hand and at that point our old hedge trimmer had died and it took us a year to invest in a new one.

Lastly is the hedge that is definitely not in need of a trim, the poor 20 hawthorn saplings I planted out last year. It’ll be interesting and informing to see whether they bud and leaf this year given the guards blow off so regularly that I’ve largely left them to their own devices. Although yesterday I did guard them all up again. I give it till Friday when we’re due some more wind.

Looking around the garden I can’t help but feel like I’m no further ahead than I was 3 winters ago, but maybe that’s okay. Last week I took the first learning session of an Introduction to Permaculture course I’ve signed up for. Learning the basics of permaculture design will help inform what we do next and guess what? There’s a fellow Orkney dweller doing the course, so I’m hopeful we can gee each other along and support each other in this adventure.

Maybe by next year, the garden will look less apocalyptic, then again maybe not, it will be winter after all. Either way, I should have a better understanding of what I’m doing.

What’s your most neglected corner of the garden? Or is it like mine & completely neglected?