Writing, worrying & wondering what's for dinner

Overthinking and over tomatoe-ing

This week has been all about ‘the book’ and food. Scratch that, every week is about food.

I love food, I think about it a lot and I get worried if I don’t have snacks and a drink to hand. I hold my Dad accountable for this, he was a chef and ran his own brilliant restaurant(s) for 30 odd years. My grandparents bought a hotel after the war, as you do. They sold the first one and bought another in Tunbridge Wells, the place I grew up, which is where my dad and uncle come in. After catering college they both got involved in the family business, dad found his home in the kitchen and my uncle front of house, although neither particularly enjoyed the business side of it.

Growing up people often assumed it was grander than it is, but if you’ve been involved in the industry, you’ll know, it’s bloody hard work. They worked tirelessly, honestly the hours were awful, I should know I did 4 years service during my uni holidays. There were no family favours, I was expected to do the same work, the same anti-social hours and all for less pay than everyone else!

But I did get food, we all did, it was the best perk of the job.

So when I hear someone say “food is fuel” or “I don’t really like food” I feel sad for them. What a life, imagine not liking food. Of course it’s a myth, food is delicious fact and anyone who believes otherwise is just kidding themselves.

At the moment, food life is dominated by tomatoes, courgettes and chilli, if I can’t add 2 handfuls of cherry tomatoes to it, it’s not on the menu. It might be getting a bit boring, but this recipe still provides plenty of taste and comfort, plus it’s super easy:

Cheesy roasted tomatoes with carb of choice.

1. Cut up a block of feta or halloumi and chuck into an ovenproof dish.

2. Add chopped onion and garlic and a whole load of cherry tomatoes.

3. Season with salt and pepper and whatever other herbs/spices you’re in the mood for.

4. Bung it in the oven for about 30 minutes.

5. Meanwhile cook up some carbs.

6. Once the tomatoes are bubbling, stir in your carbs and serve.

And if you’re as greedy as me, grate some hard cheese on top!

Write the Book

So I have finally started writing the book and by started I mean I sat for 40 minutes on Friday morning and wrote 825 words. That’s it. But they exist, sitting in my Notion under the title ‘The book’ and that makes me a writer, a writer with writers block maybe, but a writer. Actually, I don’t have writers block, I’m just lazy.

That’s not fair, my counsellor would reprimand me for that. The fact that I’m not making progress isn’t down to laziness, it’s fear, or more precisely nervousness and anxiety.

What if it’s totally rubbish? What if I can’t write? What if this thing I’ve made so huge in my head is just bloody awful?

People tell you to just start writing - just do it - but I’ve formed such an emotional attachment to my idea, to the premise, to the fact I could be a writer, that I am in freeze mode. I really don’t want to disappoint myself, which is unusual because disappointing myself is something I am an absolute pro at. You can tell this really matters, otherwise I’d just give it a go, screw it up and give it up for a bad job.

To get me moving and to help with my complete lack of inner accountability I joined a coaching programme called Write the Book with

Helen Jane Campbell

, you can find her publication here: Helen Jane Campbell: for Founders, Freelancers & Rebels

We have monthly coaching calls over the year. I missed the first session in September because I was away and so Thursday’s was my first. It’s a beautifully nurturing community and it turns out I’m not alone in the fear department, who would’ve thought it right? There were a couple of others also talking about how terrifying it is to actually get started.

Inspiring image taken on sunny Wednesday

Which is why I found myself on Friday morning, writing the book and the funny thing is, once I got started it began to flow, ideas swept in and took over.

And you know what? So what if it’s utterly shite, I’m writing this story for me, because I want to write, because I have a story to tell and that’s enough. Well it feels like enough right now, but I might have changed my mind by next week.

I’ve finally passed go and I am standing on Old Kent Road, let’s see if I can make it to Whitechapel!

I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.

- Dame Maggie Smith

Hope you have a fabby week

Han 🧡

September sub-stats

What can I say, I like numbers.

• Posts: 8 (+3)

• Followers: 347 (+114)

• Subscribers: 162 (+49)

• Paid subs: 2 (+2)

• Likes on posts: 110 (+49)

• Comments on posts: 116 (+13)

• 30-day view: 2090 (+1064)

• Views on posts: 1424 (+608)

• No. recommendations: 9 (+2)

• No. subs from recs: 27 (+19)

It’s all good news this month, all numbers are up! I probably need to add in some comparison to the previous month. What I can tell you is I gained fewer subs this month, but look at the growth from recommendations (I 🧡 you)! 30 day views are also up which is fab.

What I haven’t included is open rate because I’m not actually bothered by this, but in the interest of transparency this continues to go down for me. I think I was at around 65% a few months ago and it’s down to 48% now. This is pretty typical in email marketing terms, increase list = lower open rates, but I think it’s probably more pronounced here because of the volume of publications people subscribe to and most can’t keep up with their emails. Or if you’re like me, you have email notifications turned off and just read posts in app. This is why I see views as a better metric.

HOWEVER, I need to add in some calculations because while there is an increase in views, likes, comments etc., I also published more posts in September so I need to work out the ratios. That’s for next month!