My love-hate relationship with Substack

Plus the story of a ripening strawberry. The Diary of a Midlife Bore, never a dull moment. Oh no, there are several.

The main focus of last week was the ripening of a strawberry.

Singular.

There are quite a few up and coming, happily swinging from Doug’s rafters, but this one seemed to be streaks ahead, completely outpacing the others. I cannot describe the joy I felt when I saw it had gone slightly pink. Needless to say it’s had a photo a day since Wednesday, just look at how quickly it turns!

Daily photos of the strawberry, going clockwise from top left

I still owe you a full update from Doug which I’d fully intended to do over the weekend but I’m so behind on the garden I had to forsake computer tapping for tidying, potting on & prepping beds.

It’s also beginning to feel overwhelming. It’s been 8 weeks since my last update and I know it would be really helpful to keep track of progress. However, that then puts me in real danger of doing my usual thing when the going gets tough and may require some effort, which is not bothering.

To avoid missing the opportunity to keep an eye on how things are going and allow myself the chance to look back and compare next year, I am going to take full advantage of the Substack video post feature. I’m not sure if it’s new but I got an email about it last week and it may just be the answer.

That will be with you this week, expect an extensive tour of Doug and the garden (wind permitting).

Monday blues

Today (Monday) has been an odd day. After a wonderfully fun, relaxing and green fingered weekend, it was back to the grindstone and I suddenly felt all sorts of anxiety and inadequacy.

Back to reality, back to looking at the business stats.

I’m not making as much money as I was a year ago yet I feel busier than ever, I’m creating and posting regularly on social yet I can’t seem to make the posts land and trying to grow my email list feels like the absolute impossible. Which is ironic considering I help other people grow their list and set them up with the tools they need, but do it for myself, that’s a hard no.

Having spoken to other freelancers and small business owners I realise this isn’t unusual. We are great at doing the things for others and utterly shite at doing them for ourselves.

Interspersing my moan with this gorgeous photo of Scapa Flow taken from the ferry on Friday

The experiment

I’ve started a little experiment around email marketing, which I’m not sure is helping, as it means I’m keeping a very keen eye on the numbers. The purpose is to compare traditional methods, for me that’s the MailerLite platform against LinkedIn newsletters and Substack.

It’s not a controlled experiment in that Substack is personal and the other two are work, but there’s a lot of talk out there about the three. As of now, I remain sceptical that either LinkedIn or Substack are as effective as traditional email marketing platforms. I just can’t see how the other two stack up when it comes to list management and audience segmentation.

If you are interested in the business side of Han, you can find me on Instagram or LinkedIn and if you like emails about emails, you can even sign up to my newsletter! If you are not a small business owner/freelancer then it’s probably not for you!

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Let’s talk about Substack

It’s making me feel a bit rubbish at the moment which again, isn’t great timing given the experiment, but hey, this is where we are!

My traditional social media feeds have been chock full of posts about growing your audience, for what feels like YEARS. I’m sure yours are the same. When I first came here, with it’s creativity and openness, it felt softer, safer. And yet somehow, here we are, my feed has again become a place that talks of growth and numbers. I appreciate I am now adding to that with this post.

Some of the themes of posts and notes I’ve come across recently:

• There’s no-one on Substack with less than 1000 subscribers

Erm excuse me mate, I have 46.

• I’m getting 50 new subscribers a week

How? See above.

• Last month I made $1,526 on my Substack alone

Whoop de do.

• It’s so easy to monetise.

You’re right it is, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to make any money out it now does it?

It’s fantastic, I am happy for these people, really I am.

No really.

I am.

The thing is, this is what I hear when I see these posts, notes and comments:

You could have over 1000 subscribers, put paid subscriptions on and earn yourself some extra cash but the thing is, you’re just not good enough.

It sends me off into yet another spiral of comparison, which is exactly what I need as a middle-aged perimenopausal, underfit, overweight, unmotivated, tired and emotional woman.

Another stick to beat myself up with.

Here are a few things I’ve learnt about Substack success*:

*Things to remember: success is objective, don’t be mean spirited and a poor workman blames his tools.

• Like anything, early adopters had the opportunity to do really well and grow their audience. We are well past that stage now and Substack is busy. You have to stand out.

• Coming with an existing dedicated audience is super helpful, especially if they were on an email list, they just move across to Substack.

• Being famous helps.

• Being either earnest or funny also helps, maybe more so than being famous.

Let’s face it, I am never going to be earnest! Although I do know that making people laugh is my happy place, it doesn’t have to be laugh out loud but knowing that someone’s had a little chuckle at something I’ve written brings me joy.

You could try…not should

Here is a more sustainable approach if you’re small like me and feel a bit stuck.

• Let it go. There will always be people doing better than you - fact.

• Plug away, you will find your people.

• Plug away, you will get better and find your rhythm.

• Don’t be afraid to try something new. A new type of post, committing to writing one note a day, adding a video. Experiment.

• Remember why you started. Was it to earn a load of extra cash and be Substack famous, or was it to improve your writing and get your thoughts down?

• Unfollow and unsubscribe from anything that makes you feel shit. Yes they may be brilliant and unintentionally making you feel bad, but if every update makes you feel crap, you don’t need that in your life.

• Moving people to a new platform is HARD work. Look at growing your audience from within. Find like minded Substackers, follow them, engage with them. You’ll make friends, which is way more important than reaching 1000 subs.

Household tip

After getting pissed off enough with gritty glasses, I finally decided to clean my dishwasher, prompted by smol's latest newsletter which featured ‘do you need to clean your dishwasher?’

How did you know?

So here we go, something I never thought I would be doing, household tips from Han.

Seriously, what have I become?

How to clean your dishwasher:

1. Take out all moveable parts, including the filter and give them a clean.

2. Wipe down the door. Not just the bit that gets cleaned when it’s on, all around, including the sides where you’ll find crusty remnants of food dating back to who knows when.

3. Add a cup filled with white vinegar on the top shelf.

4. Put on a hot wash, 60℃ or 70℃.

5. For extra pizazz, after that’s all done, throw some bicarb into the bottom and pop it on a quick wash.

I did not go for extra pizazz, but I’m happy to report the wine glasses came out gleaming.

All in all last week was a good one, it’s just I had a wobbly moment when I came to write this!

Take care

Han 💚 🌱 🌳

NEW feature alert…The week in Sub-stats:

This is all for the experiment and has absolutely nothing to do with my craving for external validation, none whatsoever.

• Subscribers: 46 (up 4) - just had a quick look, I am three of them and I’m friends with 18 of them.

• Subscribers not including me or people who feel obliged to stay on the list: 25

• Followers: 53 (up 8)

• Pledges: 1 - so damn excited by this, like super excited.

• Last post: 64% open rate; 66 views; 5 likes; 2 comments; 0 new subs; 1 message from friend to say she laughed out loud.

The week in stats

• Cakes: 1 - hangover from the week before

• Creme eggs: 0

• Wispa duo: 1

• Exercise sessions: 4

• Beds cleared for planting: 1.5

• Hawthorne planted: 20

• Cold dips: 3

• Longest dip: 6 minutes 🥶

• Week high: 10℃

• Week low: 1℃

• Latest sunset: 9:00pm

• Increase in day length: 24 minutes

• Trips to Mainland: 1 - more on that next week, I’ve run out of steam today!